My Best Friend is a Dumpster

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As the aging process drags on, I realize that my outlook on friendship has changed. This latest epiphany reveals a more pragmatic approach: My new BFF is a dumpster. [Read more…]

The Garment the Opposite Sex Can’t Figure Out

garment the opposite sex can't figure out

The epic battle between the sexes has raged since the day Eve borrowed Adam’s rib and didn’t put it back. To help us men conquer the women-people, I’m fighting fire with fire by inventing the garment the opposite sex can’t figure out. [Read more…]

One Word Can Keep Things Cool with Your Wife

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I have put my foot in mouth so many times that there is a size 9 footprint embossed on my tongue. To overcome my poorly-timed and ill-advised words, I’ve taken a page out of the family dog’s book: I will only say one word. [Read more…]

Letting My Wife Scope Out Women For Me

Letting my wife scope women out for me

Did you know 9 out of 10 men are put to death by their wives if they dare glance in the direction of another woman? With my bold, marriage-saving epiphany, I’ve figured out a simple way to stay alive: I’ll let my wife do the ogling for me. [Read more…]