You Can Make Greg Mischio Even More Famous in 2014!

Greg_Mischio
My gratitude to the millions who resolved in 2013 to make me famous.  You’ve done well, but this year you can do even better, thanks to my latest epiphany. [Read more…]

Moms Sabotage Math and Science in the Name of Santa

Santa

Much ado has been made about the decline of math and science test scores in US schools.  The root problem?  It’s not teachers or school boards.  The true saboteurs of our educational systems:  Mothers — and their motivation will shock you to your Christmas core. [Read more…]

The Stuff You Don’t Need Store

Stuff
What began as an innocent little exercise in cleaning out the closets escalated into an epiphany destined to change life as we know it. Discover my Stuff You Don’t Need Store, and remember it as you begin your Christmas shopping. [Read more…]

“Koondayga” Can Save Your Life at the Grocery Store

Grocery
A traumatic event will occur at grocery stores as American-type people prep for Thursday’s Thanksgiving dinner gorge-fest.   The only cure to this terrifying phenomenon is my latest epiphany, the word “Koondayga.” [Read more…]

Move the Coffee Table Into The Bathroom

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Many of my epiphanies have reshaped countries, generated vast fortunes, and brought grown men to their knees.  Others, like my brilliant idea to move the coffee table into the bathroom, simply make going potty a much more pleasant experience. [Read more…]

Why NASCAR Drivers Should Text During Races

nascar
Haven’t we learned about the dangers of texting while driving?  Considering how many dolts I see weaving all over the road, the answer is no.  It’s why I thought the best way to demonstrate the peril is to encourage NASCAR drivers to start texting at 200 mph. [Read more…]

Behave Wrong So Your Kids Will Grow Up Right

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If a teenager’s natural instinct is to rebel against their parents, then doesn’t it make sense for Mom and Dad to eschew hard work and lucrative careers?  In other words, if you want your kids to grow up right, your only hope is to behave wrong. [Read more…]

Why Men Die Before Women

leftovers

I’ve always wondered why men kick the bucket before women.  While searching through the refrigerator for a snack, the answer became as obvious and stomach-churning as the green fuzzy stuff atop a jar of six-week-old salsa. [Read more…]

How Stampers will Save the Newspaper Industry

Stampers

Two things I most enjoy in life:  Reading the Sunday morning newspaper, and receiving a handcrafted card from a friend proficient in the fine art of stamping.  In my latest epiphany, one of these joys will save the other joy’s butt, as stampers save the floundering newspaper industry. [Read more…]

Fact-Filled Wristbands for Oblivious Husbands

wristband

While watching a football game, my wife noticed something on the quarterback: A wristband with all the plays written on it.  Her observation spurred yet another epiphany: Fact-Filled Wristbands for Oblivious Husbands. [Read more…]

Ending Government Shutdowns…Permanently

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I’ve stood idly by, watching Congressional gridlock for far too long.  It’s time to enact my amazing new winner-take-all election system, one guaranteed to end not only gridlock, but all Washington finger-pointing. [Read more…]

The Party-Till-You-Pass Nursing Home

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Correct me if I’m wrong, but nobody wants to wind up in a nursing home.  And if you have to go into one, you absolutely don’t want to be there for a prolonged stay.  It’s why I’ve created a bold new epiphany for people nearing the end of life: the Party-Till-You Pass Nursing home.   [Read more…]

In the Tavern. At the Grocery Store.

Fritsch Pic

Meet Rochelle Fritsch, another fellow writer out to alter the course.  Rochelle’s writing always makes me chuckle, ponder, and ultimately helps me put things in perspective.  She’s also a fellow cheesehead, hailing over yonder in Milwaukee, so that’s an added plus.  I read this post and it made me think that we’re all a little like the character Bobby in the story, and lucky if we meet up with a kind soul like Rochelle.  Click here to check out her bio (and her very, very funny blog).  Thanks for altering the course, Rochelle! [Read more…]

Resolve Syrian Conflict with the Guy Who Won’t Shut Up

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It may appear that the situation in Syria has calmed down for the moment, but the main issue still remains:  President Bashar al-Assad needs to go.  In this no-win situation, I’ve put forth the one solution to the problem. We need to send in the Guy Who Won’t Shut Up. [Read more…]

Divorce, Remarry, Divorce and Remarry to Get a Screen Porch

screenporch

I love my wife dearly. But there comes a time when we need to put aside our feelings of the heart, and focus on the passion of the pocketbook.  Especially when you want a new screen porch, which is what led to this latest epiphany. [Read more…]