Ending Government Shutdowns…Permanently

shutdown

I’ve stood idly by, watching Congressional gridlock for far too long.  It’s time to enact my amazing new winner-take-all election system, one guaranteed to end not only gridlock, but all Washington finger-pointing.

The premise of this election epiphany is quite simple.  Every four years, we will hold an election, and whoever wins the contest gets to rule the country.  And I do mean every aspect of the country.

From the Presidency to Congress to the local government, one party gets to run the show.  There will be no gridlock because there will be no opposition party to filibuster, shutdown the government, or whatever parliamentary procedure mucks up the works.

Is it totalitarianism?  Well, sort of.  The Supreme Court would still hold court, ensuring nothing is passed that’s unconstitutional.  We’d still have our rights and liberties, so we can write disparaging articles about our leaders without fear of being beaten with a large stick.

Other than that, if one party captures the majority of the votes nationwide, they get to run the show.

What does this mean?  It means there is no more finger-pointing.  The winning party steers the country in the direction they want.  They have a full four years, without distractions, to enact their agenda and get things running ship-shape.

What I’m suggesting here is the benevolent dictator of sorts.  You get all the power, and we follow along.  It’s no different than a football coach:  He’s in complete command, and if he screws up, there’s no one to blame but himself.

Enacting the Election Epiphany Proves Elusive

Naturally, the Democrats will worry about the Republicans going all storm-trooper on our asses and enacting a police state.  The Republicans will be equally paranoid and fear a welfare state that will reduce us all to couch-bound blobs of unemployed goo.  Neither will happen.  At the end of four years, you can still get voted out of office.  So you need to toe the line and adhere to the will of the people.

In the midst of a government shut-down, I brought this simple solution to Washington, DC, and presented it to Senator Harry Reid (D) and Representative John Boehner (R).

“Here you go guys,” I said after my pitch.  “The keys to car.  All yours.  What say you?”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Boehner said.

“I agree.  But I think the terms should be eight years,” Reid replied.

“No, I think it should be six years,” Boehner replied.

They bandied back and forth like this for a good ten hours.  I sat, horrified, with the master plan for saving our country in the hands of two idiots who couldn’t compromise to save their lives.

Why?  Because these guys weren’t elected for their vision, leadership or foresight.  They were elected because of their zeal for arguing and bashing the other guy.  My plan, in all its simplicity and beauty, was entirely in the hands of the two people who symbolize the inherent problem with the 2-party system.

I left their office, frustrated, and recalled how founding father John Adams, who forewarned the dangers of the 2-party system.

Adams was on the mark.  No wonder he spent most of his time depressed and snookered on his brother Samuel’s home brew.  With no movement forward on my revolutionary epiphany, I think I’ll go drink one myself.

Photo from policymic.com

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Comments

  1. Love this idea! Great post. Funny, wise, refreshing.

    Here’s my wry take on a solution: http://wp.me/p3ErRy-mx

    • Greg Mischio says:

      Thanks so much Diane. And I think jolly old St. Nick would work just as well – loved your post. I’m tweeting it out now!

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