Using My 3D Printer to Print More 3D Printers

2013-08-09_3D_Printer

I’ve been keeping an eye on the wunderkind development of the 21st century – the 3D printer.  These miracle machines have the potential to revolutionize our world, which is why I launched my brilliant new scheme: I’ll use my 3D printer to print a 3D printer.

Do you ever see something, and wish you’d invented it?  From iPhones to doorstops, new innovations can yield big bucks.  Why just the other day I was reading and admiring a Playboy centerfold and thinking, “Boy, If I would have invented the naked woman, I’d be rich.”

Now, thanks to 3D printers, you don’t have to invent anything.  You can simply buy a 3D printer, print out something someone else has already invented, and sell it.

Once people realize they can print an iPhone, doorstop or naked woman on their 3D printer, they will start buying the miracle machines like it’s nobody’s business.  And the owners of the 3D printers will make bazillions.  Not gazillions, mind you.  Bazillions.

I decided to beat them to the punch, and open my own 3D printer company.

Garage Sale Special: 3D Printers

I went to my underwear drawer, where I keep a box for loose pocket change.  Over the course of my 45 years on earth, I have accumulated over $1,500 in pennies – just enough to buy a new 3D printer.

I hightailed it over to Kohl’s, went to the appliance section, and, as luck would have it, found a 3D printer on the clearance table.  Placed between a juicer and a Ginsu knife set, it practically cried out to me.  I dumped 1,500 pennies on the checkout table and took that bad boy home.

I set up the printer, then went to the Internet and downloaded “How to Assemble a 3D printer.” I plugged the coordinates into my 3D printer, and two hours later, I’d printed another 3D printer.  Two days later, I had 50 printers.   Two weeks later, I had 1,500 printers.

Now I was ready to sell, and I decided to target a group desperately in need of a 3D printer:  The people who peruse garage sales.

Early one Friday morning, while garage salers were streaming through my neighborhood, I put a “For Sale” sign on my front lawn.  Like moths to light, they flocked to my place.

“What in the world do we need one of these for?” they asked as they inspected the printers.

“With a 3D printer, you don’t need to go to someone else’s house to buy their junk.  You can print out your own crap!”

This delighted many of them, and the 3D printers started selling like hotcakes.  Soon people were printing out worthless trinkets, broken lawn chairs, and horribly old paperbacks.  The innovative ones were even reselling the crud at their own garage sales to the poor saps who hadn’t yet purchased a 3D printer.

Soon the 3D printing companies were experiencing financial difficulties, as their prices were being undercut by the likes of me.  I knew eventually an innovative garage saler would follow my lead and print his own 3D printer, but until then I will rake in the cash.

So if you’ve got a hankering for an iPhone, doorstop, or one of them naked women, stop by Saturday morning.  It’s all just a 3D print-out away.

Photo by Keith Kissel

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Comments

  1. “Boy, If I would have invented the naked woman, I’d be rich.” – My, did I laugh!

    If you had invented that, you would sport a beard and people would ask many things of you 😉

    Keep it going, awesome read!

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