A wise man once said, “Teenagers don’t plan for anything. Ever.” I echo the sentiment, which is why I created the Teenager Planning Committee, one I felt certain would restore order to the chaotic parenting community.
The aforementioned wise man is a friend of mine, and we were talking about a trip to a swim meet our sons were planning on taking together. The lads were both pushing eighteen, so we believed they possessed the acumen to take a trip alone.
“Did your son say when they were leaving?” I asked.
“He said he didn’t know.”
This came at no surprise, because earlier I’d asked my son, and he didn’t know either.
Amazing, considering a few days ago I had suggested to my son that he, A. find out when the swim meet started, and B. check with his buddy to see when they thought it might be a good time to leave.
My son agreed this sounded like a good idea. Apparently, it was one he hadn’t pursued. His friend hadn’t either.
What truly amazed me was that these boys were in constant communication via text, Twitter, SnapChat, and Facebook. They had smart phones (which actually have voice-connection capability built in), email, and hell, their own cars to get together and plan something out.
In fact, they had been conversing all day about every topic imaginable EXCEPT when to leave for the swim meet.
I would have thought that through the sheer volume of communication, they might have inadvertently, unintentionally planned when to leave, but alas, that was not the case.
“They don’t plan for anything. Ever,” my friend, the wise man, said.
He was right. But with my latest epiphany, I was prepared to be even wiser.
Assembling the Teenager Planning Committee
I called around to neighborhood families, and I suggested the organization of the Teenager Planning Committee. The Committee, composed entirely of teens like my son and his buddy, would meet every Monday to plan out their lives.
For example, they might help my boy realize that in order to get to swim practice on time, he can’t hit his snooze button and go back to sleep. He would actually have to get up and leave the house. Completing this action would take some planning, sure, but the committee could help him.
My daughter would also be part of the committee. They would help her also to look at a clock, and plan accordingly for the mandatory four hours of makeup application and hair assemblage.
All the parents thought the Teenager Planning Committee was a wonderful idea, and as diligent parents will do, we all made our kids sign up for it.
As you would expect, my best-intentioned epiphany soon became a bust. The Committee never met. Not once. Why?
Because we’d foolishly agreed to let the teenagers plan where and when they should meet. With no ability to plan, the Teenage Planning Committee could never even get to the point where they could plan their first meeting. The Committee never saw the light of day.
Well, I’ve got to go now. Have to remind my son he’s late for practice, and that my daughter had better get up and start in on the hair. Guess the Parental Planning Committee will remain in place for the foreseeable future.