Make the Most of Micro-Idle Time


Is our culture work-obsessed, money-obsessed, or maybe just obsessed? It’s hard to tell the difference. What I do know is that we’re so busy, we don’t even know how to waste time anymore. That is, until I discovered micro-idle time. [Read more…]

Use Your Writing to Climb the Corporate Ladder

Ascending the ladder

Publishing a book is not the only way you can make money from your writing. You can also use it to scare the bejabbers out of your co-workers and climb the corporate ladder. [Read more…]

The Pizza Extremists

Pizza on white background

News headlines are filled with harrowing stories of religious and political extremists carrying out horrifying attacks. For once, can’t we have an extremist who is cool? I think that would be nice, thus I’ve launched the Pizza Extremists. [Read more…]

My Best Friend is a Dumpster


As the aging process drags on, I realize that my outlook on friendship has changed. This latest epiphany reveals a more pragmatic approach: My new BFF is a dumpster. [Read more…]

Thwart Ebola with Designer Hazmat Suits

Congrats, Ebola. You’ve effectively scared the s— out of everyone. In defense of the world, I decided to thwart Ebola’s viral hinder, but not by combating its root cause. I got reactive instead of proactive and launched my new designer Hazmat suits. [Read more…]

Take a 50-Week Vacation


My family recently enjoyed a fantastic one-week vacation. Upon returning, our lives plunged into 50 weeks of prolonged hell. Why do we subject ourselves to the post-vacation blues? Instead, try my epiphany, which turns the tables on the vacation paradigm. [Read more…]

Take the ALS Billionaire Challenge

Isolated bucket of US banknotesUnless you’re holed up Unabomber-style, you’ve likely encountered the ALS Ice Bucket challenge. It’s produced amazing results, but we’ll get to the cure faster if someone takes my ALS Billionaire Challenge. [Read more…]

Hallelujah – How to Eliminate Road Construction

Hallelujah - the end of road construction

I wrote this epiphany from my car. I had been sitting in a traffic jam for two and a half weeks, making infinitesimal progress every 1.5 days. The solution? Creating the world’s first construction-free highway. [Read more…]

I’m An Incremental Criminal


It’s okay to break the law – as long as you don’t go to far. You won’t get a speeding ticket for doing 71 mph in a 65 zone, and with my latest epiphany, you don’t go to jail for leading a life of incremental crime. [Read more…]

Barstool-Ski Lift Hybrid Reduces Drunk Driving


Drunken driving has inflicted untold amounts of pain, misery and suffering, yet we seem at a loss for how to curb its deadly consequences. That’s because we’re not putting capitalism to work, folks. So let’s drink to the end of drunk driving with my new Barstool-Ski Lift Hybrid. [Read more…]

Sleeping Assistants Boost Productivity


Are you too busy? Do you find there are never enough hours in the day to get everything done? Instead of trying to cram more into your waking hours, make better use of your sleep-time with my latest “Sleeping Assistant” epiphany.” [Read more…]

The Study of All Those Irritating Studies


How I loathe those accursed research studies that state the completely obvious. The news media reports on them like they’re amazing new revelations, instead of statistically-backed validations of common sense. On the bright side, they’ve given rise to my latest epiphany: The Study of All Those Irritating Studies. [Read more…]

Achieve World Peace with Global Death Day


Why are we so darned insistent on solving conflict through wars and by beating people with sticks? An easier solution is my latest epiphany: Give everyone the chance to kill one person every year – and be killed in return! Give a warm welcome to Global Death Day! [Read more…]

Finding the One Guy Who Owns Everything


Every company on the earth is owned by some larger company, which in turn, is owned by an even larger company. But who owns all of that? One guy, I say. One guy owns everything, and I was determined to find him. [Read more…]

How Shopping at Costco Can Bring About World Peace

At the behest of friends and neighbors, we recently joined Costco.  A subsequent trip to the megastore led me to realize that Costco can not only save me a few bucks, it can also help nation-states live in peace and harmony. [Read more…]