You Can Make Greg Mischio Even More Famous in 2014!

My gratitude to the millions who resolved in 2013 to make me famous.  You’ve done well, but this year you can do even better, thanks to my latest epiphany.

For the few newbies to the Alter the Course scene, I launched a brilliant epiphany in 2013, providing you with an easy resolution for the new year.  The premise was simple:  Make me famous.

In my post, I explained the ironclad logic behind the resolution.  Instead of millions of people trying to push forward their writing, their business, their art, their music – it would be much simpler for everyone to nominate one person for fame and fortune, and then combine our efforts to launch him (me) to that status.

The reason why I asked you to abandon your own hopes and dreams and instead make me famous is a matter of statistics.  Even if you have the talent to make it big, there are simply too many voices out there, too much competition for everyone to be successful.

It made much more sense for us to pool our resources and make a chosen one famous.

How would you benefit?  You would get “fame by association.”  You could tell your friends and family that “you knew me when.”  You could make up stories about how we were friends, or photoshop me into some photos with you.

This stuff impresses people, believe me, and you’d enjoy a guaranteed moderate amount of “fame by association” vs. the once-in-a-lifetime fame that few people ever achieve.

Over the course of the year, many joined the cause, and I’ve started to become more famous.  This year, however, I’ve contrived the plan that will allow me (us) to make a quantum leap forward:  I’m not going to do a damn thing.

A Star is Born…and Bored

From the supermarket checkout line, I’ve been observing the careers of people like the Kardashians and Paris Hilton.  These ladies command lots of attention, magazine headlines, and vast fortunes.  But for the life of me, I haven’t been able to figure out what they do.

A quick scan of the Internet turned up one irrefutable answer:  They don’t do anything.  And it seems the more they don’t do anything, the more famous they become.

Thus, to help you in your efforts to make me famous in 2014, I personally resolve to do nothing.  Enough of writing this stupid blog, reaching out to new audiences, and writing the Great American Novel.  That doesn’t seem to be helping anyone.

The goal here is to make cash, enough so that I can sit on my a—in Florida and do even less.  That way, I’ll become even more famous.  It’s a cyclical thing, you dig?

I guarantee, with me doing less, and you working even harder, we can’t lose.  Soon I’ll be twice as famous, and you’ll have even more vengeful stories to tell about me as you author your own unauthorized biography: “Greg Mischio – The Sonsabitch Who Did NOTHING.”

Ok, you’ve got your resolution in hand for 2014.  Get crackin’.  Me – I’m going to go take a nap.


  1. I really don’t know you , but I will start claiming to know you right now. That way I can claim to be one of the first to have known you when.

  2. Carolyn Ferriano says

    You should be in Florida right now!!! Good one.

  3. I work on this every day, buddy. I am photo shopping me on your lap right next to your little dog now!

    • Greg Mischio says

      Good Jeff. You might even want to swap in your face for the dog’s, as you are just as adorable as little Becker.

  4. Michael Short says

    Well Greg, you’ve got me to do some thinking…no small task. I’m just going to start blabbing your name whenever it pops in my head, stuff like:

    Well even Greg Mischio wouldn’t be that effing stupid; or
    You know, that’s the kinda crap that Greg Mischio used to pull; or
    God Damn, Greg Mischio was just saying the same thing yesterday; or
    You’re on my sh*tlist which has only one other name…Greg Mischio.

    I think you get my point. You’re welcome in advance.


    Michael J. Short

  5. Modeling your do-nothingness after the Kardashians and Paris Hilton is a standard very few can achieve. Are you really up to it? If so, I will give up my hopes and dreams and support you in becoming the chosen one.

    PS: Thanks for making me laugh again with your post, Greg. Wait a minute.You did something…not off to a very good nothingness start…. :)

  6. Ann Riegert says

    Thanks for the smile today Greg! I feel honored to say that I already know you! Good luck!!

    • Greg Mischio says

      Ann you are beautiful people. But just don’t tell me that you’re honored to know me. Tell everyone you know that you’re honored to me. Then watch your life improve exponentially!

  7. Michael Short says

    Greg, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde, it is about the conversation not the level of discourse.

  8. Excuse me, hangers-on, but this do-nothing has actually visited my blog, so surely I’m almost as important as he is?

    • Greg Mischio says

      This is a good example of how you can become famous based on me being famous. Anne is claiming fame based on the fact that I visited her blog, which is fine. However, the fact that she is trying to equate herself as being as important (I think she means famous), is counter to the entire movement to make me famous, so Anne is definitely not with the program. I know competition brings out the best in people, but the whole notion of competition for the fame I am due is counter-productive to our agreed upon task of making me famous. I’ve already spent valuable time responding to Anne’s insurgency, and I’m sure you’ll agree it’s deviated us from our intended course. I’m not suggesting you flog Anne with the wet noodle, or lock her in her writing den and not let her out until she promises to get with the program and then flog her with the wet noodle even if she agrees…that’s for you to decide. But come on already. Ok, that’s enough. Time for a nap.

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